Warm and fuzzies from Indian Country
by Gilbert Oskaboose

Well, got a lot of mail urging me not to quit but the cigar goes to Chief Clarence Louie of the Osoyoos Band, with Darrell Boissoneau of Garden River a close second.

Chief Louie, you missed your calling, sir. You should have gone into journalism. You sure demonstrate a remarkable grasp of what it’s all about. I agree with your assessment of the majority of Indian Country Newspapers and Newsletters. They aren’t worth reading. They’re not worth the paper they’re printed on. Indian Country journalism hasn’t got a ounce of credibility, and rightfully so. It’s never earned it.

Indian Country journalism has never paid it’s dues. Most native reporters/editors have never attended a real journalism school and it shows. They know nothing of the canons of journalism, the ethics evolved, the techniques, writing skills required.... Most are little more than assholes armed with a pencil and an attitude. One eastern university created a special watered down degree program for native journalists. I tried to tell them I wouldn’t wanted to be treated by a “doctor” trained in a watered down course in medicine, or represented by a “lawyer” from a watered down course in law, but they weren’t interested.

And if you were to say anything like that at a native journalism seminar, you would be shouted down and labelled a racist sellout. I’ve been to their workshops. At one a young woman was bragging about getting a Letter to the Editor into a mainline daily. I asked for her autograph and damned if the twit didn’t give it to me!

When’s the last time you ever saw anything remotely controversial in an Indian Country paper? When have you ever seen a decent investigative piece in an Indian Country newspaper? Has any chief been taken to task for having his hands in the cookie jar, his snout too deep into the public trough?. Brain-dead band councillors sit out their two year terms, importantly shuffling their “packages,” pretending to understand complex documents that confuse lawyers and accountants. Nobody says anything. Next term they’re voted back in, or are at least they’re there clamouring to get back in.

What have you ever heard of the sexual abuse that plagues most communities...drinking... vandalism...thievery...spousal abuse...elder abuse...favouritism...nepotism.... Nothing, no word is ever said about it in an Indian Country newspaper or newsletter. Taboo subjects all, Mono, don’t say nodding, eh? You gotta t’ink positive.

They are little more than social calendars loaded down with the touchy feely, warm and fuzzy, you’re ok, I’m ok bullshit that passes for reality in Indian Country. Christ, it’s no wonder we’re so damn far behind the eight-ball that it’s not funny.

Yes, Indian Country is overrun with people who have recently “sobered up” and are now dispensing good, bad, and irrelevant advice to anyone who will listen. The born again type are all over the damn place. And the wannabees are nothing compared to the born again loonies.

Don’t expect to see the real world reflected in an Indian Country newspaper or newsletter, chief, we’re too far out in Lala Land for that. It’s safer to stick to epics on how-the-beaver-got-a-flat-tail and to blowing sunshine up each other’s backsides.

Darell, Darell, Darell... you silver-tongued old devil you. Your eloquence reduced me to tears. Thank you for your kind words, sir. I was tired at the time I quit. I’m going to try and hang in there for a little while longer.

A special thank you to all the other people who wrote in.