| Back to Index
One of the things that always gives me pause - as I wander through this vale of tears - is the question of God - who is He or She or It? Does a God exist? Does God know that I exist? Does God even care that I exist? I have been in this world close to 60 years and I am none the wiser for my trip around the Sacred Hoop of Life. Every day I talk to God and every day I feel like a silly fool for talking to the emptiness that surrounds me.. There are no answers, no great visions, no revelations...just the empty silence and a great ignorance on my part. I feel so terribly alone. I feel alone in a world filled with religious types who claim to be in intimate contact and personal communication with God every day. Does God communicate directly with millions of other human beings but not to me? Have I been singled out to be ignored by the Creator? Why? Does God exist? Mankind seems to think so. Mankind has been creating gods since Time began...each one more powerful and omnipotent and wondrous than the last. There are literally millions of gods in the world today. There are tens of thousands of belief systems in the world today. Which group of humans are right and what others are completely wrong on their notions of who and what God is? Are they all right and yet all wrong at the same time? Numbers mean little. At one time half the people in this world believed it was flat! Im a Canadian Indian - an Ojibway. Does that mean I should be believing in a Great Spirit, a Gitchi Manitou, a Creator? Is God red? Im a Canadian Indian who was brought up in a native residential school by white Jesuits priests - under an "angry and jealous" white Christian god who had nothing better to do than to loll around on a cloud "smiting" heathens and consigning them to boil in endless pits of fire and brimstone. Pretty damn scary stuff, eh? For years I thought God was an ancient white man in a flowing beard, sitting on a cloud, clutching a handful of flaming thunderbolts, just waiting for Gib Oskaboose or some other dumb Indian to screw up. Zap! Gotcha, you bugger! God created Man, or is it the other way around? Did Man create God? Its not hard to visualize ancient man living in caves, terrified of every sound, creating gods to protect himself and give meaning to his precarious existence. I can easily understand primitive man creating gods to help win his wars and justify his selfish, belligerent and nationalistic behaviors. I have a bit of difficulty understanding why so many have chosen to continue this way of thinking up to the present day. Will this small confession of mine provoke some good intelligent discussion on the matter or will it unleash a flood of letters from every religious nut infesting the planet? Give me a break! Keep your damn mindless platitudes and sandbox beliefs to yourself. I am not interested in hearing from you if all you have to offer is the same old tapioca thats been around for centuries. God is great. God is beyond wonder. God is far beyond the petty parameters of humankinds ideologies, races, beliefs, colors and creeds. God is beyond the imaginations and machinations of humankind. God is beyond understanding...and have I just answered my own question about ever learning a single solitary thing about God? I am alone, wandering along the edge of the abyss under the pale flickering light of my own existential candelabra, or is it a native birch bark torch that guides me...into nowhere? I am alone.... Gilbert Oskaboose, a retired Ojibway journalist from the Serpent River First Nation in Northern Ontario wrote a weekly column here on FirstNations.com. With the permission of his family, we are privileged to continue to present Gib's words and stories, many of which are still relevant today. Gib is a residential school survivor. During his retirement, Gib was engaged in a class action law suit against the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) and the federal Department of Indian Affairs for their respective contributions to a residential school lost childhood. In 2000, Gib suffered a stroke and he was no longer able to continue writing.. He his mind and spirit are still strong though his body is now weak. Gib is currently living in an nursing home in Ontario. Thanks and well wishes go out to him and his family. As Gib would say, "Write on, young native writer, write on...." His hope is that young writers will pick up their pens and use their voice to comment and describe the world we live in. The pen has been now been passed to you, the next generation.
|
Why hast thou forsakened me?