Some more unsolicited advice
by Gilbert Oskaboose

One of the nice things about growing old - becoming an Elder -in Indian Country is that you get to dispense good, bad and irrelevant advice on any subject. People come to expect it of elders. Heaven forbid I should disappoint anyone, so here it comes....

I'm only 56 and getting my feet wet, so the real heavy-duty Meaning of Life stuff will come later. Maybe next month some time.

None of this stuff should be considered mine or even new. It's folk wisdom that's been around for centuries. A lot of it could be labelled cliche, and there's a perfectly good reason for cliches hanging around: they usually contain a great deal of enduring truth.

• If you're going to burn your bridges behind you, make sure you've got a damn good boat waiting. Always try and keep a few alternate options open, don't put all of your eggs in the same basket.

• Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one. You only start running into trouble when you start believing that yours is the only one worth holding or expressing.

• The lowest form of human life is the "user," someone who uses people to get what they want and then discards them. Avoid this type like the plague.

• Don't have anything to do with gossiping and back-stabbing people; their next victim will likely be you. That's the way it works. You won't even make it out the door. Count on it.

• Some people become elders, others simply age chronologically, none the wiser for their trip around the Sacred Hoop. Respect all of the white hairs, but select your elders carefully.

• Religion is for people afraid of going to Hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there already. Get to know the difference.

• The squeaking wheel gets the oil and the empty can rattles the loudest. Speak up, speak out and get your message across. But don't talk too much or people will think that's all there is to you.

• Be prepared to go into old age with a helluva lot more than the rapidly fading "good looks" of your youth. Acquire a personality, develop a sense of humour, get a life...or be prepared to spend the rest of your life alone, unwanted, unloved.

• Beware of self-appointed and self-proclaimed spiritual people, elders, war heroes, experts of all kinds.

• You don't make yourself any bigger by trying to make other people appear smaller. It doesn't work that way. People can see through this game and through you as well. Better to build them up, straighten them out. Then they will bring you along with them, instead of taking you down with them.

• What goes around comes around. You don't "get away" with anything in Life. Sooner or later, in one form or another, you get back what you dished out in Life. The Bible expresses it as reaping what you sow, the secular world calls it cause and effect. Don't bother waiting for your reward or punishment in the next Life. You'll get what's coming to you here.