Goodbye My Love...
by Gilbert Oskaboose

Well, guess its about time the world heard from the old Ojibway Coyote again.

Been lying low, hurting, licking my wounds, took a frightful beating from a young lady I made the mistake of falling in love with - a long time ago when the world was new and I was young and foolish. Now Im just foolish.

Its a strange tale. We actually first met when I was 18 or 19 and she was only 7. Even back then we felt the wonder and magic of love. We then went our separate ways, lived our own lives and then - in the fullness of time and in a sacred manner, we found each other again. It was truly magical.

Unfortunately, thats where the magic ends. We had both seen and lived a little too much of life. Both of us had become twisted and bent out of shape by societys pliers. We were unable to communicate properly. Me, a forty year man in communications and her a near grad from a prominent eastern university - and we could not communicate normally. Unreal, eh?

I am on public record speaking out and against the dangers of communications via e-mail. There is something inherently wrong with communicating via e-mail. Maybe its the lack of eye contact or the inability to read body language. No one can read in your eyes that no offense was offered or taken. There is something in the dynamic that is inherently evil and works against civil communications between two people. Witness the savage fights, acrimony and discord on chatlines. She too was aware of the problems. We discussed it rationally and intelligently. Despite that and the awareness we still failed miserably. Beware of e-mail and chatlines.

Maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe she had a hidden agenda that I was unable to measure up to. Not much left to the old Coyote, but I concealed absolutely none of those sad shortcomings. I was brutally frank and honest with her. Maybe all she needed was a brief break away from a "passionless wetblanket" husband. Who knows what was the truth of it? Who will ever know the full truth of it? Maybe it was nothing more than what urban Indians refer to as a "brief fling."

It could have ended savagely. I was hurting badly and feeling the need to gut somebody. It didnt. It ended on a whimper, from me. Ive been hurt so goddamn many times in my life. I have been used and abused and then simply discarded when I no longer fill a specific need.. It has happened again and she has just walked away, relatively untouched and unscathed. Guess its simply not in my nature to be vengeful and hurtful. Maybe someday I will learn to hurt back.

So what did I learn from the experience? Probably not a goddamn thing. Love is the only thing that matters in this at times strange and ugly world. Love and hope springs eternal and forever young - even in the broken heart of a tired old man.. They can never be denied. Without them we are nothing, absolutely nothing.

Life goes on. The old Coyote survives and will go on, seeking, searching....